March Madness at Garfield has always possessed a distinct chaotic quality. It is not a bad thing. In fact, it is a wonderful thing. March Madness is about entertainment, not basketball. But the level of play is so consistently low that the stage is set less as a hardcourt and more of a circus ring. March Madness is a circus at heart. Crazy stuff happens.

There are the clowns. Last year we saw Glenn Jones, the dreamy and charismatic ‘08 who wowed the crowd with his relentless ego and effortless dribble. He was truly a renaissance man, wooing women with a million dollar smile, boldly leading his troupe through the hallways. He bounced basketballs of his knees, swooped through the legs thrice, and called his masterpiece “The Finisher.” Everyone loved him. They flocked to the gymnasium hoping to catch a glimpse of their hero.

Who is this year’s Glenn Jones? There surely is a worthy successor to his throne and his title, the Clown of March Madness. The one man nobody could possibly hate, or abstain from mocking. The most likely candidate is not one man but a team. A team of junior girls who call their rec team Montlake SpaceJam. They came into the season with zero basketball experience to their name, yet they march on, proudly regalling tales of 10 – 4 defeats and own goals. They have self-confidence on the court. Thus, instant comedy. Like with the games of Jones, fans will undoubtedly crowd around the games of all three Montlake SpaceJam teams to see once-in-a-lifetime moments.

And there is everyone else. The proverbial acrobats, tight-rope walkers, cannon guys, monkeys, etc. They color March Madness with hii-larious matchups, wacky antics, and the occasional highlight reel shot. Take for instance, last season’s game featuring the Defenistration of Prague, trotting out a lineup of Mulherkar, Perkins, de Koch, and Golden, and Abesha Shiferaw and a few girls irrelevant to the story. Shiferaw, who was like Glenn Jones in that she was ‘08 and out of her mind, said “I’ll take the Indian.” And throughout the game, she tormented young Mulherkar, shoving him relentlessly when held the ball, talking smack to his face, getting in his grill. Jamal Malk, Jr. was rendered helpless.

In a similar matchup, Axel “huduuh” Krauter and his cronies faced a team of varsity girls. Krauter ignored his enormous height advantage and commenced the bricklaying frenzy of the the century.Meanwhile, Kiana Cheng and Co. were waxing threes like bees, and at one point held a 13 – 8 lead before Krauter’s teammates stopped feeding him the ball. Krauter and Co. won the game, but lost in the hearts of the crowd. Good times.

There are more tales in the hallowed halls of March Madness, but today, we have run out of time. You get the idea. And you wan’t more. You wan’t action, hilarity, and excitement. You want The Finisher. You want Abesha. Come to March Madness. Come to the circus.