October 31, 2007 is a day that lives in infamy. A day of sorrow and lament. The day ‘09 got demolished by ‘08 in the annual upperclassmen football game. As leaves floated softly onto Queen Anne Playfield on a brisk Halloween afternoon, the men of ‘08 showed no mercy in handing ‘09 a butt-whooping for the ages.

Though ‘09 remained within striking distance on the scoreboard for much of the game, the action on a play-by-play basis was much more lopsided. On one play, Nathan Rogers took a short pass and literally high-stepped his way through ‘09’s flimsy arm tackles and into the end zone, where he raised his arms in joyous celebration. On quite a few other plays, Jordan Stevens, Travis Ko, and their Decadurabolin-lovin cronies took the liberty of taking down anyone regardless of position on the field or proximity to the ball.

‘09’s offense didn’t help exactly help itself out. Conor Shine threw like six interceptions. Crucial weapons Axel Krauter and Carson Dunn were often double-teamed. Worst of all, after this writer managed to weasel his way for a solid 20-yard gain, Mark Raynor (future Facebook friend) yelled, “who the f*$% is that?” ‘09’s only saving grace was Quincy Coleman on its sideline. Besides that, the game was embarrassing.

But it is another year. A clean slate. The air smells of built-up frustration, redemption, optimism, and weed. It emits sounds of gnashing teeth and impatient grunts. ‘09 wants to put 2010 in its rightful place and reaffirm its own status as the unquestionable leader of the school. On October 29th, the two classes will battle. ‘010 simply doesn’t match up. ‘09 can overcome the absence of varsity starters Dunn, Krauter, and (unfortunately) Biggie, but ‘010 cannot perform well without QB1 Sean Foster. ‘09 has multiple weapons, size, speed, and most importantly, desire. They want victory. They need it. ‘010, on the other hand, has no real threats. Solid athletes like Jack Jajewski, Wilson Platt, and Galen Beery are not enough to amount to much more than a handful touchdowns. Their chances of victory lessen even more considering they will be more preoccupied with slapping each other’s butts than with the football showdown at hand.

The upperclassmen football game is all about two things. First, it is about bonding. It’s a great source of class cohesion. So be there to support your team. Second, it is about bragging rights. Just as ‘08 pooped on ‘09 last year, ‘09 will most likely poop on ‘010 this year, and ‘010 will surely pass on the favor to ‘11. It is crucial to be able to back up one’s seniority with utter domination on the greatest venue of sport on earth: the football field.