April Insanity. The time of year when the freaks come out and all hell breaks loose in the Dawg House.

Forget Passover, forget the disappointment that you felt when your March Madness bracket failed to meet the expectations of an illiterate pre-triassic caveman, it’s game time!

Next time during lunch, when your tired of standing around with your friends or sick of trying to do some last minute studying and decide to just take the D+ on the big math final like I do, take a gander to the fourth floor and while you’re there, take a peek into Mr. Nomura’s classroom; I think you’ll be surprised at what you find.

It’s that time for the creation of some more memorable moments that are created by one of the most anticipated events of the year. It’s self explainable naming of April Insanity features many of the brightest young minds Garfield has to offer as people from all different parts of the school meet up to test their skill and wit over the black and white checkered playing boards.

The rules are simple, 4 v 4 cutthroat chess with a mandatory representative of the female sex on each team. Each player is matched up and plays twice, once as white and once as black. After this, the team with the most wins takes the victory and in the case of a tie, three players from each team enter a 3 v 3 sudden death round.

This year besides the new rule of feeding the losing team to Ted Howard’s new attendance policies, the tournament features many of Garfield’s finest who are participating in the national chess tournament after winning state this past spring.

However, the tournament doesn’t just feature members of the chess team but not so serious bulldogs who are just looking for a good time.

“I mean I know that this tournament is usually dominated by Asian males,” says senior Marian Miller, “but I’m pulling a Rosa Parks ‘cause I’m ready to change the status quo.”

This year however, there is a method to the madness as chief chess warlock Mr. Nomura attempts to use the relative success of the event as a means to recruit young blood for the years to come.

Senior Tim “I get” Wilder comments that, “Almost half of our chess team is graduating this year, and without more students willing to come out and participate at the tournaments, the legacy that we leave could be gone in a matter of years.”

With April winding down however, only a few teams are left and the excitement steadily builds as only the strong survive in a near-Darwinist experience.

“This year there is no doubt in my mind that were bringing home the bacon,” said senior surprise phenom Jamie Rees. “It’s all about getting in your opponents head, and I’ll do anything to win, and I mean anything.”

And if you think Jamie’s frontin, then just challenge him to a wrestling match and see the slightly provocative moves that he pulls out in order to take you miles out of your comfort zone.

Well actually… in hindsight, I wouldn’t recommend it.