In elementary school, we stood and said the Pledge of Allegiance together, as a school, once a week. Those Monday morning meetings were filled with more patriotism than any pledge I’ve ever witnessed in my time at Garfield. During our years at Lincoln, it was pretty safe to say that anyone who stood for the Pledge on a regular basis either supported George Bush or had a thing for Ben Kusak. I didn’t fall into either category, but my nationalistic tendencies ultimately prevailed. Not that I’m an American extremist or anything — I sleep with my baby blanket, not a flag. Anyway, I tried to stand once a week. But only when somebody else was standing, preferably near me or (at best) blocking me completely from view.

A trusted colleague told me it’s illegal to sit during the Pledge. Yeah, well, it’s illegal to deface money, too, but a police car didn’t exactly rush to the scene of the crime when I ripped a fifty-dollar bill in half at a restaurant last August. So, the fourteen hundred and fifty-five students who didn’t stand this morning are probably safe. And so are my parents’ friends, who push the limits of blasphemy when they talk about escaping to Western Europe; usually the Netherlands. Their talk is disheartening, and it’s not just a Seattle trend. American citizens everywhere walk around repeating “French women don’t get fat” and “Italians are the best lovers” like sick Euro-centric mantras. Even I have recently had to take steps to control my traitorous interest in books with titles like Entre Nous: A French Girl’s Guide to Life. Although these tomes may contain valuable insight, the truth is, Europeans only seem cooler because they think they are cooler. By the same rule, it only seems embarrassing to be American because we act like it’s embarrassing.

Society teaches us to act modestly while secretly making fun of braggarts.We’ve warped this lesson to the point where a person worries that others will secretly make fun of her, if she says anything positive about herself. As a result, girls (and some boys) engage in ritual displays of modesty. For example, one girl says to another, “I like your shoes,” and the other replies with, “Oh, yeah, but they make my toes look fat. Yours are cuter.”

Even if the speaker doesn’t believe that her toes look fat, she may internalize the basic message over time. She’s telling herself that she’s worth less than the other girl, just like we’re telling ourselves we’re worth less than all the other girls*. My fellow Americans, why are we insulting ourselves? It’s like that fun sibling game, “Why Are You Hitting Yourself?” only in this case, the blows are actually self-inflicted. That’s embarrassing.

I am not proud of the hundreds of thousands of recent deaths in the Middle East for which my country is responsible. But I believe and support the founding principles of the United States of America. By standing and reciting the Pledge on a regular basis, we accept collective cultural responsibility for our country’s actions, good and bad. In accepting that responsibility, we also confirm that we have the power to change the way our country acts.

We can’t change the course of our actions if we hate ourselves. Come on. That strategy doesn’t even work with dieting. We need to build national confidence via verbal pats on the nation’s back, with our hands proudly over our hearts. But not every day! Please. Standing for the Pledge every day 1) feels like exercise, 2) gives students a taste of life in a cult, and 3) dilutes the meaning of the words.Saying the Pledge of Allegiance should be a powerful statement, not a perfunctory and mundanely irritating habit. I can only hope it’s a statement that the students of Garfield will make, even though our hearts are (unevenly) divided between Barack, John, and Michael Cunetta.

*countries