Coach Dro Region

1.Whitey Pride
Carson Dunn
Jack Saver
Stefan Dabroski
Kevin Marck
This well-balanced team of athletic and experienced seniors is the clear tournament favorite. Seriously. Their only weaknesses are Dabroski’s flagrant temper and Dunn’s highwater khakis.

2.Carl Sucks
Carl Barnes
Stewart Renehan
Jackson White
Kit Wesselhoeft
Possibly the worst two-seed in history, this team’s seeding reflects more the weakness of the field then their strength. Young Barnes will have to carry them.

3. Jack and the Tool
Jack Jajewski
Wilson Platt
This team has taken advantage of the two-player rule so that Platt can play. The stroke and post game is there, but a strong team of 3 should beat them.

4. Team Nike
Mason Woo
Matt Mar
Marcel Davis
The stupidly named Team Nike has a very high ceiling, but they need a go-to scorer. This is the team no one wants to play.

5.The Dragon Slayers
Silas Aumell
Simon Fox
Noah Neighbor
Kobe Bryant grew up in Italy. Unfortunately, it does not appear that Neighbor picked up any of Bryant’s skills during his time there. Fortunately, he hasn’t raped anyone…

6. Run T.M.C.
Andy Szeto/Jack Frawst
Danny Guan(o)
Henton Hailey-Marshall
Jet Mar
Jack Frawst returns to March Madness for his shot at glory. The high profile of the tournament will surely draw the NBA scouting attention that Frawst craves.

7. W.A.W.A.
Mia Palmisano
Tracey Wong
Lily Anderson
Wawrence Long
The mysterious Long will make or break W.A.W.A. Hopefully Anderson will avoid any of his own goals this time around.

8. Team Rubstello
Kenny Nguyen
Juan Sarimiento
Mckay Breuner
Miguel Castro
This group of teenagers is totally excited about jockin’ a middle-aged woman. Perhaps they will bring honor to her name. Or not.

9 . BC Calc
Ben Huppe
Travis Burgstahler
John Renehan
Diane Simunek
BC Calc fields its worst team in recent history. Is Mr. Shaunette’s replacement of Mr. Arms to blame?

10. Boston Three Party
Hank Droege
Azor Cole
Liam McFeely
Joe Renner
Perhaps Facebook-stalking Renner has access to some sort of secret scouting reports. Actually that’s impossible. Expect an early loss.

11. Motown
Jacob Franklin
Philmon Tekeske
Ryan Peterson
Jonas Oppenhemier
This team will try to put the ‘marvin’ back in Marvin Gaye. How they will fare on the basketball court is anyone’s guess.

12. Terminal Illness
Tory Sheffield
Renee Tryon
Molly Quin-Shea
Laura Munoz
Lauren Honican
The five-woman rotation of Terminal Illness will keep them fresh for every new challenge. Fortunately Andy Turner isn’t in this year’s field.