As our imminent doom approaches ever nearer with the 2012 apocalypse nearly one year away, it’s time to figure out the best way to savor those last moments on our beautiful green planet.  In true Messenger style, two Messenger reporters have compiled a list of the best ten things to do in your last year to live.

Try to survive the apocalypse

With December 21 fast approaching, you’re going to want to make sure to please the Mayans. They were big on human sacrifice, so to honor Quetzalcoatl, you might want to try sacrificing a freshman. Who knows, the serpent god of the world’s end might just enjoy the scrawny meat on your choice ‘015.

This may also be the time to venture into the chilling world of cryogenetics. If the world somehow survives, but humans don’t, you’ve got seven continents to yourself.

Or you could pull an Austin Powers and shoot your frozen body off into space.Just make sure you bring that special someone with you, because the world’s going to be an awfully lonely place after the apocalypse.

Start a cult

As the end of the world nears, a good first step would be to create a massive following that would accompany you into whatever happens in the future. Of course, there is no better way to do this than to start a cult following.

It would be quite simple, really. Bathrobes, a bulk supply of Kool Aid, and aluminum foil are all you need to lift your cult off the ground and begin your journey into the future.

Skyrim

There is no better way to hide those thoughts of despair that come along with the end of the world than by playing Skyrim [reviewed in A&E this issue].

If you spend 15 hours a day playing,0000000 that would give you 5,475 hours to level-up and explore the vast world that Bethesda has birthed by the time the world ends.

The towns of Whiterun, Solitude, and Riften will be pillaged until every single petty soul gem or leg of goat has been stolen. The mountainous landscape will be littered with the corpses of blood dragons, cave bears, and venomfang skeevers, and who wouldn’t want to spend their final days in such a magical world?

For many Garfield students, fighting restless draugrs is a perfectly acceptable way to spend their final days.

Get fat

Americans these days are obsessed with self image. Nearly every other commercial is an ad for Proactiv or some diet program. Well to heck with all that! When the end of days comes there will be no reason to stay in shape, diet, or even bathe for that matter. I have a feeling that many like-minded folks will be heading over to their favorite pig-out spots to just go ham. An extra hundred pounds here or there never killed anyone, and who cares, it’s the end of the world after all.

Go streaking at the Olympics

Everyone remembers Rubber Chicken Man from the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin, Italy. This is the time to immortalize yourself by streaking at the London 2012 Games.  All you need is a well televised event such as gymnastics, a strategic covering, and a website to advertise.  We recommend errytang.com.You’ll also want to plan your escape from all the embarrassment until the December apocalypse, and become a modern Neanderthal in some Nordic cave. Just bring your X-Box (see Skyrim).

Tell someone you love them

Sure, it’s cliché.  However, if you’ve found that special someone, now’s the time to tell them.  Make sure to do the whole shebang: candles, flowers, and a moonlight walk along the water.  For the vast majority of you who haven’t found their Wesley, do it anyway. Profess your love to the nearest stranger. You never know, it could end well. If it doesn’t, you could always get a Facebook divorce the next day.

Get arrested

Getting arrested is all about the experience, just talk to Jesse Hagopian. That’s one of many reasons why you don’t want to get arrested for shoplifting, a hit and run, driving under the influence, or any other thoroughly anti-climactic crime.  If you’re going to get arrested, try something like mugging Chuck Norris or breaking into the White House.  Fair warning, though, because trying to get Chuck Norris to give you his wallet could be the last thing you ever do.  It might just be smarter to take on the entire Secret Service.

Win a Darwin Award

This venture is going to take some pretty serious planning, and should also be the last item on your bucket list, because you have to die to receive the award.  Darwin Awards are given to the stupidest deaths each year, recognizing the recipient for “improving our gene pool from removing themselves from it,” according to the awards committee. Getting this award won’t be an easy task, because the  awards committee only chooses the cream of the crop.  You could start with trying to tame a wild animal, or jumping across the Grand Canyon.