During these rough economic times, many amazing deals can be found on the Internet, and can be purchased from the comfort of a computer chair. One of the best places to find these money-savers is Craig’s List. If you search long enough, you can find essentially anything you need on (though what you need may not be legal). One Messenger staff member even got her dog off of the site. However, there are some things out there that I’m not sure anyone will ever need.

Homemade blender — (no price)

This item looked like a primitive, sadistic torture device from a low-budget horror movie. The seller described it as both “intense” and “brutal.” It was flagged for removal a few short days after being posted, presumably because someone realized that it would most likely be used for evil, rather than to make smoothies.

2 DOLLAR BILLS — $100

This offer is just as puzzling as the title sounds. According to the seller, he has five two dollar bills that have “touched many hands and have seen many pockets.” He or she wants us to pay $50 each for some crumpled up dirty bills, though they do acknowledge the exorbitant price: “I think 50 bucks a piece would be pushing it for me but I need these gone.” This just begs the question: what did the seller do with these bills that it is necessary to get rid of them? And why charge twenty-five times what the bills are actually worth?

Weird Cassette Tapes Left Behind by Equally Weird Girlfriends — 25 cents

The description the seller gives really says it all: “Weird Cassette Tapes Left Behind by Equally Weird Girlfriends. Don’t Want Them (the tapes). Hate to throw them out (the girlfriends). Please Come Get Them (the tapes).”

Never mind that no one has used a cassette tape since the new millennium began. I’m sure someone somewhere will want “Chuck Pyle: Endless Sky,” or “Shawn Colvin: Fat City.”

Clown Collection — (no price)

This seller has a “large clown collection of all types, cloth, porcelain, glass, mini tea sets.” Okay, two things: one, the only people whom it is acceptable for adults to play with mini tea sets are children. Two, children are terrified of clowns. What kind of crazy person is this seller? Clearly they like clowns, and they want to inflict clowns upon others, which is highly uncool. I wouldn’t recommend going to this person’s house to pick up a purchase.