As a full time meditation teacher and relaxation goddess, my mother is the epitome of tranquility and ethics. She reads books with titles such as “Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose” and enjoys a good parenting seminar once in awhile.

There is but one blemish on my high opinion of my mother.

When I was five years old, my mom told another parent about the time I ran away, an incident which I was, for some reason, very embarrassed about.

I don’t think I’ve ever forgiven my mom of this discretion, and frequently use this as ammunition when we bicker. I will never forget.

As it turns out, I am not the only kid who is plagued with the constant knowledge that whatever my parents know, so does someone else.

“My mom and Emma’s mom are good friends,” says sophomore Megan Williams, “So if I tell my mom something, she’ll tell Mary who will probably tell Emma…who tells me.”

From exposing the details of an out of control party, to bragging of the academic achievements of a child, parents love to gossip just as much as their offspring might. Although their techniques and subject matter may differ, this deliberate leakage of information can cause the same volume of consequences that gossip in high school can. But instead of discussing the unwholesomeness of the girl in third period, they talk about their spouses, new school district policies, and the activities of their children.

Parents share bits of information about their kids all the time, whether as a mutual subject for casual conversation, or as a way to find out where their kids really up to last Friday night. While a majority of information traded about children during conversation would be described as harmless by most parents, a fraction of the talk would be considered blatantly harmful.

Lilly*, a sophomore who wished to remain anonymous, has a mother who is so displeased with her ADD dating habits that she openly vents her frustration to other moms.

“I know I go through guys like tissue paper,” said Lilly, “but sometimes I wish that instead of telling all her friends first I wish she’d just tell me.”

Not only does this kind of behavior diminish the trust in parent-child relationships, but it stifles the communication that many parents say they wish they shared with their kids.

As Anne Holte, whose children attend Roosevelt High School said “There’s a fine line between simply giving information and ranting to let off steam to other parents about your kids.”

Because adolescents are not known to be the most informative bunch, “Parents often resort to a little digging in order to understand the actions of their children,” said Anne, “Most of the time, I have to ask around and chat with other parents to get the whole story of what my son and his friends were up to last weekend. It’s not like he’s going to just offer up the info.”

But many parents claim that the only reason why they would talk to someone else about their kids would be either for expressing pride in their child’s achievements or for protective measures.

This is exactly the kind of parental behavior that got junior Wilson Platt’s best friend Alex* in trouble two years ago.

“Freshman year, Katy* had a big party and my friend Alex got really drunk, like terribly drunk, and ended up going home and his parents found out and they got really angry,” said Wilson. “So his dad went to Katy’s house and confronted her mom and told a lot of the other dads about it and they got really upset with Katy’s mom. So none of us were aloud to go to Katy’s parties for awhile after that.”

Many would agree that Alex’s dad did the right thing by informing other parents of the wild night, and that his actions do not constitute as gossip. A kid’s safety is after all, a parent’s primary concern. And gossip between parents may be a parent’s only window into the elusive lives that their adolescent children often lead.

But despite the fact that good intentions are often what motivate parents who gossip, many kids agree that for a parent to really understand their children’s lives, they have to directly communicate, instead of receiving information through the grape-vine.

“If the parent has to resort to gossiping with other parents,” said Wilson. “Then that means that they don’t trust their kids enough to talk about it themselves.”

And though parental gossip can be a source of annoyance for the kids whose personal lives are being infiltrated, the parents may be seeking to connect with their ever retreating children.

“One on the reasons why parents gossip or talk about their kids is because it’s an important way for parents to feel or remain involved in their kids lives,” said a father of an adolescent. “The kids reasons for not letting their parents be as informed in what they are doing is because their pushing away from their parents and seeking independence.”

But whatever the reason of parental gossip, my mom’s loose-lipped tendencies may be close an end.

She is currently reading a book titled A Complain Free World in which “One of the tasks of the book is to completely eliminate gossip, criticism, and complaining,” She said. “I’m trying to live by that.”

But regardless of her optimistic intentions, I still haven’t forgotten.