“Who is Van Houtte?”

The question elicited grunts, shrugs, and the occasional outburst of anger. For weeks, it reverberated off the halls of Garfield, a cloud of mystery hanging above students’ heads and plaguing the school with an itchy curiosity. Almost no one knew the answer.

Change the infamous question to the imperfect tense, however, and it becomes universally answerable. Who was Van Houtte? He was many people, in fact, and not in the multiple personality disorder sense. But the students who questioned his identity did not care about Louis Van Houtte, the most renowned botanist of the mid-1800s, or Albert Louis Van Houtte, founder of a coffee company. Instead, what most everyone wanted (at least until recently) was to be included in a practical joke.

It all started when a Facebook account was created under the pseudonym “Van Houtte.” Van Houtte was quick to friend-request most Garfield students, thus integrating himself into the online Garfield community. If someone denied his request, he would add the person as a friend over and over until he or she surrendered.

Since Van acquired all his “friends” by force, they were really more like befuddled deer in the headlights of the worldwide web. He only confused them further by initiating nonsensical Facebook dialogues. From “Van Houtte.” to “Van Houtte?”, Van Houtte left his mark everywhere.

Posters began to pop up around Garfield. Some merely said, “Van Houtte is coming November 16th,” but others were more ominous, such as the infamous “Van Houtte is watching” sign next to Ms. Rascon’s office on the third floor. Oh, and did we mention that November 16th is a Sunday?

Although the whole scheme was admittedly almost as shady as oh-nine, Van was no sexual predator to worry about. A select group of students knew who was behind it all. One might say these lucky kids were treated like gods, if you call having to endure 13,458 “Please tell me!!”s a day god-like.

Some skeptics said the whole thing was imbecilic. One student even remarked, “Someone has a very sick mind!” Others were just plain agitated from being excluded. Still more latched onto the excitement of the whole thing, devoting their homework hours to messaging and Facebook-stalking Van, which was just incredibly frustrating because of how un-productive and fruitless the whole endeavor turned out to be. Not saying we did that or anything…

But really, when has there ever been a genuine mystery at school? For a few weeks, life was like a giant game of Clue, minus the murder. Was the culprit Olivia Alsept-Ellis on the second floor with the computer label? Or was it Michael Cho-Snyder in Mr. Shaunette’s room with the crayon? We were willing to buy a whole Sherlock costume — spyglass, trench coat, pink mustache and all — if that was the price for the truth.

Slowly, Van Houtte became a whole group of people. Different students could be seen putting up the “Van” posters, and many new Facebook accounts were created, including “Van Van Van,” “Ettuoh Nav,” and “Iron Van”. Caleb Raible-Clark’s Facebook status summed up the whole shebang pretty darn well. “Van Houtte is not a person, it’s a movement.”

The movement’s rise mirrors that of a more widespread phenomenon from earlier in this decade: the flash mob. A flash mob is a group of fifty or more people who plan to meet at an agreed-upon time and place to do something random. Since the concept’s birth in New York City, mobs have gathered in places ranging from the mundane (the Macy’s home furnishings department) to the urbane (a street in Berlin). They have spontaneously burst into applause, worshipped a giant toy dinosaur, and imitated different types of birds. In one instance, a large group rushed into a shoe store in downtown Manhattan, each participant talking frantically on a cell phone about the quality of the shoes.

Yes, it’s easy to see how a department store employee might get a little ticked off if she had to answer a question like “Where can I find a love rug for my suburban commune?” two hundred separate times in the same shift. On the other hand, isn’t observing a social experiment more interesting than cleaning couches with a lint roller?

The element of surprise can liven up any school environment. After a long day of analyzing rhetoric or grading biology worksheets, most people at Garfield would welcome a flash mob, a heated toilet or any sort of signal from a mysterious pseudo-German. And they did.

But the welcome didn’t last forever. Van Houtte has fallen from favor. Our requests for Van-related information and quotes were met with rolled eyes and comments like “It’s over.” The descriptors “annoying” and “stupid” were also heard. Now there are signs at school that say “The Hunt for Van Houtte” in black on a blood-red background. What happened, Garfield?

When things get old, they die; it’s a fact of life, albeit a sad one. Most people, animals and jokes can age and die in peace. Strange movements, however, are frequently assassinated by one or more naysayers. Such party-poopers need only say that the movement is “annoying,” and the negative connotation permeates the nearby area, spreading from person to person. A few weeks ago, the naysayers latched onto Van. So many students began to scorn him that the movement’s death seemed inevitable.

And yet, Van lives. According to Wikipedia, Van Houtte posters have appeared in other cities in Washington, Massachusetts, and Texas. Sure, this information doesn’t come from the most credible of sources; nevertheless, the fact that Roosevelt students are now questioning Van’s identity can’t be ignored. Sucks to be you, Roughriders.

Van’s ability to remain anonymous is perhaps his most valuable asset. The movement is not a quest for attention or an attempt to climb the social ladder. Indeed, the person behind the Van was so intent upon avoiding exposure that he/she gave us a quote through another source.

“My identity is irrelevant. As is whatever you may think you know of it. I’m not who you think I am. I am not who anyone thinks I am. But who I am is of little importance. Van Houtte isn’t a person. Van Houtte is a movement. And if you keep that in mind, all else will fall in place.”

So while Van lies low, students return to their homework and everyday schedule, forgetting the posters which have been torn off the bulletin boards and the Facebook messages which caused both aggravation and entertainment. But chances are Van will pop up again, when everyone least expects it.

In his words, “Van Houtte has only just begun. Do not be afraid. Be ready.”