Not convinced? Some of the largest corporations in the world, namely Boeing, Microsoft, and Starbucks, are headquartered in our dear Emerald City.

Seattle residents share the progressive mindset that these characteristics illustrate, in theory that is.  Moreover, this extreme liberal mindset that most Seattleites possess only makes for aloof, un-accepting views others.

Because Seattle is generally so open to new ideas, it seems that Seattleites look down upon those who are more traditional in their mindsets.
Now that doesn’t seem so “open.”

My parents came to Seattle together hoping to find a balance between the craziness of L.A. and the constant lull of small town life; they deemed Seattle the perfect place.

Isolating themselves in this pocket of the country, they were successful in their mission to avoid contact with and shut out those who didn’t agree with them.  Yes, what they viewed as negative attributes of other cities were avoided by their move; they could now voice their opinions openly and everyone would agree.

They came to realize that, as much as Seattle preaches diversity and awareness, its projected image of random, diverse people stumbling into each other is inaccurate. Rather, it’s just a congregation of people who are too fed up with the rest of the nation to deal, who clump together to create a perfect world.

And so, Seattle has morphed from a filthy to a strange city in my mind.  We Seattleites have sculpted our town into one that champions our own values and fits our own needs. And for some reason, we still seem to expect everyone else to agree with us.

Example A: myself in New York two summers ago. Talking with a group of girls from around the country about what we would do if we got pregnant, I immediately offered up that I would get an abortion. Not only did no one agree with my theoretical decision, but they were shocked, even offended that I had the audacity to bring it up in such casual talk.

Example B: a Seattle born-and-raised family friend at a recent dinner party with visitors. Wine glass in hand, she opened up a conversation about her frustration with people discriminating against gays, assuming everyone around her felt similarly. A non-Seattleite immediately got quiet, casting sideways, angry glances at the other dinner guests. Completely unaware of the disagreement in the room, the emboldened Seattleite kept ranting until she was nudged by another, only to declare, “Who wouldn’t agree?!”

This woman wasn’t just too drunk to realize her mistake. Maybe living in this isolated bubble has completely warped Seattleites’ sense of reality. Seems logical to me.

It’s awesome that we live in a place where people feel comfortable enough to share their opinions with each other and work together to get things done, but those allowances might be precisely if everyone thinks the same way. Floating in this dreamland where getting your point across is so easy, of course it seems dumb that it’s so hard to pass nation-wide bills.

“You guys forget that no one really cares what you think,” says my liberal Uncle Sam, who lives in D.C., “Because your ideas, frankly, aren’t that realistic for the rest of the country.”

Maybe we need to work on being truly open, but so what? We’ve still got Starbucks. And that’s a true Seattleite for ya.

That’s not what I’m going to do.

Since my sophomore year at Garfield, I’ve been hearing my fellow students talk about how the school is dying, how there’s not enough spirit anymore, how we’re divided, and how it just isn’t as awesome as it used to be when the Class of (fill in the blank) was here.

I agree with a lot of these statements. The school is ridiculously bureaucratic, none of the adults trust the students, and our lunches are now only 35 minutes long. There’s a lot to be upset about.

Recently though, I met a lot of kids from all over the country during my college visits, and after hearing them talk about their high school experiences, I can honestly say I’m so glad I go to Garfield High.

I began high school back in 2006 as a fairly awkward freshman girl who was still taller than most of the guys in her class. I was too afraid of standing out to wear colors other than black, white, and grey (swear).

Maybe at some other high school, I would have been lost in the fray.

But Garfield didn’t allow me to be left behind. This school of ours is still unique, still worth bragging about, because here, anyone can do anything if they have an open mind.

Yes, there are cliques. It happens in high school. We are by no means immune to the fallacies of teenagers everywhere. That doesn’t mean that our school has failed. As long as a student like me can change for the better as much as I have in my four years here, Garfield is still something to be proud of.

When someone asks me why I like going to Garfield, there are a dozen reasons I can rattle off: the diversity, the superior academics (well, at times), and the urban setting are just a few. The more I think about it, though, the more I realize that none of those descriptions truly encapsulates Garfield.

Unfortunately, one does not generally think of “quality education” when the words “urban public school” come up. Nor does the phrase “outstanding academics” bring to mind an “insane man throwing bread into the street outside the window of your sixth period class.” But Garfield is an exception.

Each Garfield student has the opportunity to become someone not defined by one label. If I’ve gotten to the point that I can simultaneously make horrendously nerdy jokes about epic Latin poetry while screaming profanities at the away team during a school sports match—and be comfortable with myself—a varsity athlete can certainly pluck up the courage to audition for a Drama Club production. The best part? This is completely normal, and even encouraged by the Garfield community.

Instead of constantly complaining and pointing fingers about the things our school has lost, we should be celebrating the amazing opportunities Garfield gives us. Yeah, we have an oppressive attendance policy and there’s a serious lack of murals in our hallways.

These are minor issues, some of which will change with time.

We cannot allow things like this to define the experience we have here, because there are so many better experiences that make our small grievances trivial.

So, I’ll use my final words to encourage everyone at Garfield to go out and make the most of the time they have left in high school. And above all: we need to wear more purple.

As such, the administrators have drafted a new-and-improved attendance policy for Garfield. Under the revised attendance policy, an unplanned absence will ONLY be excused if it falls under one of the following three categories: a sudden, gruesome death in the family caused by heavy machinery or similar; a severe, life-threatening illness or injury requiring the amputation of one or more of the four major limbs; or a doctor’s appointment for the purpose of discussing said life-threatening illness or injury. Observance of a religious holiday and suspension are no longer valid excuses for missing class.

The school must be notified within 48 hours of the absence. In order to ensure that the student’s excuse is valid, proof of the death, illness/injury or appointment must be provided for inspection at the time of notification.

Providing proof is relatively simple, but does vary according to the excuse. In the case of a death in the family, the student or a parent/guardian must provide a copy of the program from the funeral; the program must be signed and dated by no fewer than five funeral guests as well as the owner of the funeral parlor at which the service took place.  Furthermore, while at the funeral, the student must collect approximately one milliliter of his or her own tears in a lidded plastic cylinder*. The absence will not be excused until district lab analysts have certified that the tears are genuine and were secreted by human lacrimal glands. As an added precaution, every student must submit a copy of his family tree to the attendance office at the beginning of the school year. This document will be kept on file. Each time someone in a student’s family dies, that person’s name will be crossed off the tree, thus preventing any student from gleaning multiple excused absences by claiming that Grandma Sue has died for the third time.

In the case of a severe, life-threatening illness or injury requiring amputation, the student will presumably not be able to bring proof to the attendance office himself, because he will be either bedridden or newly disabled. As such, a parent/guardian must collect and deliver suitable evidence in an appropriately-sized plastic cylinder. For example, if the student has pneumonia, a phlegm sample is required. If he has the stomach flu, a vomit sample is required. If the student has undergone an amputation, a foam or rubber model of the severed limb(s) must be delivered to the school within three business days, along with a color photograph of the student’s new stump(s).

In the case of a doctor’s appointment, the student or parent/guardian must provide a two-minute video of the doctor having a discussion with the student in a certified medical examination room.

The policy will go into effect this September.
garfield.messenger@thisopinioncolumniscompletelyfabricated.com  

*Regulation plastic cylinders (two-centimeters in diameter) are available in the attendance office for a small fee of seventy-five cents each.

So with that quizzical mindset, I sat through class and listened to the rules of the Jane Schaffer format: intro, commentary, commentary, concrete detail, repeat. Was my creativity getting in the way of education so much that I needed to be wrangled into the confines of structure locked up by petty grammar rules? And with that, I became convinced that the public school system was on a mission to stifle my creative mind and beat me into conformity, a vengeful mindset that has stuck with me.

My frustrations with my education ultimately led me to enroll in the Running Start program, in which one can take classes at community college that will satisfy high school credit. I started the program with the notion that these classes would provide me with what I wasn’t getting at Garfield; a creative license. But what I found was basically more of the same stuff. The classes were taught with the same methods, and my english professor still prescribed the Jane Schafer format to my writing. It felt life no matter where I went, I was still confined by the same rules and regulations.

So instead of bemoaning my lack of creative freedom, I came to the realization that in order to fly, you first must learn the rules or else you’ll crash.

While the public school system cannot cater to every student’s specific learning methods, it has to be able to accommodate the vast majority. The purpose of publicly funded education is to prepare young citizens with the basic tools of knowledge, and provide the foundation for a higher education. While this may not be optimal for those whose course in life is not directed towards a university, the foundational skills such as mathematics and language arts that a high school education provides are invaluable. High school curriculums are designed to be universal. The things you are taught in class are intended to be applicable to any field, even though we have all experienced times when they weren’t.

Even though I have never been a huge fan of the functions of the public school system, and probably never will be, I can still see its value. I can list off a number of flaws I see in the system without hesitation, my complaints revolving primarily around the lack of respect and funding the art programs receive from the district. I believe that the arts have a hugely important place in our lives and that everyone learns from some form of creative expression, so I am irritated by the fact that the art programs are the first to be cut.
But the programs that receive ample funding and support, such as the mathematics and science departments, do indeed deserve the attention they get. Those subjects are universal, and one can always find a way of creative expression, or at least analytical application, within those classes.

Public school cannot stifle your creative voice. It may discourage it with its repetition, but the key is to let rules only refine it. The purpose of learning the rules first, is so that you can improvise later.

The Jane Schaffer format is taught so that the structure of a comprehensive and informative essay can be learned first, allowing spontaneity to follow after it is mastered. While creative chaos is wonderful in theory, your words mean nothing if no one can unwrap them.

“You’re gaining a bit of weight.” Do not EVER tell a young lady this, in any way, shape or form. I am yet to meet a person who has told a female this in any way that has just walked away from it without an argument. No young lady, and even a few guys would rather not hear about their physical flaws. The best way to get this message across with as little argument as possible is to go work out yourself, and ask your partner if he or she would like to join you. While they think it’s a nice gesture to spend time, you know what it REALLY means.

“When is your birthday?” Anyone who is in a serious relationship should NEVER forget their partners birthdays. With parents, siblings, cousins and friends, all which have birthdays, it can become a little hard to store all the dates. Be especially careful to remember who exactly the birth date belongs to. Avoiding this is quite easy, SAVE THE DATE. Most phones have calenders; utilize them! Save your partner’s birthday in your phone along with a notification about three days before. Gives you time to plan something and lessens your odds of looking like a fool on the special day.

“I will call you back … ” … but you never call back. Most people who do not call back usually never had any intention of calling back, to be completely honest. In this case, honesty is the best policy. Tell your partner you are on the phone, playing video games, doing homework or whatever it is that holds you from sitting on the phone. At least if you do not call back, they know what you were doing .

“Your mom has a nice … ” Please stop right there. It is very true that mothers are becoming quite hot, but if you are interested in someone you don’t want to show interest in anyone else, especially not their parents. If you would like to compliment the parents, let it be something you can say in their presence. If it cannot be said in their presence, it probably should not be said at all. In the words of John Reilly from the movie “Step Brothers,” Why have the old bull if you can have the young calf?

“Yup.” People hate to hear this word on the phone, in person, even in texts. By using the word “yup,” you’re knowingly, or unknowingly ending conversation. Usually when people say, “yup,” it’s because they aren’t paying attention. If this is the case, I would suggest acting as if you know what is going on before answering with this.

“Who’s your friend?” If you do not already know “the friend,” then do not ask about the friend. When this question comes up people automatically think that you may be attracted to that person. You could really only be wondering who this person is that is with your partner. What seems to be a harmless question could easily turn into a whole lot of unnecessary arguing.

“You are picking up the check right?” Everybody enjoys a free meal. The only thing better then food itself is actually, food for free. Whenever I go on a date, I am prepared to pay for my date’s meal, movie, putter for mini golf or whatever we end up doing. But there is nothing more awkward then sitting at a table wondering who is going to pay. Always have money or plastic on hand during a date. You think you’re dating Steve Jobs? Your date could be more like MC Hammer.

I have personally seen great dates turn disastrous due to the wrong thing being said. In a lot of cases it is better to just bite our tongues and go with the flow. Anything important should expressed, sometimes you just have to watch how you express it.

“Hold on,” I thought as I read this. Apart from all the human rights and ethical concerns blatantly dismissed right there, isn’t “homosexuality is unnatural” a factual claim? Can’t that be definitively proven right or wrong?

And the answer is, yes, it is, and yes, it’s been proven not to be true. Science has proven that the brains of homosexual people are, from early ages, different from the brains of heterosexual people, for no specifc reason, and that it isn’t a conscious choice. So why is the Ugandan government still claiming this? That’s why I don’t understand people sometimes. Listening to a talk by skepticist author Sam Harris about morals, I thought about the belief that most of us are brought up with: that everyone has a right to their own opinions. He said that most values and morals can be reduced to facts, and that, by extension, these facts can be right or wrong.

He gives the analogy of corporal punishment: is it good to allow a young child to be hit with a wooden board, raising bruises, in order to improve that child’s character? Many people would say not, most research would disagree. Then perhaps we can dismiss this point of view as incorrect. Then, we can agree it’s a good idea to ban this practice in schools in the Southwest, and encourage teachers to find less violent ways of dealing with children.

Wait, I just agreed that a tradition hundreds of years old should be outlawed. Yes, I did: because trusted, proffesional research has shown it to be ineffective and harmful. Even respected cultures can have bad ideas about ethics.

“Who are we to pretend that we know so little about human wellbeing that we have to be nonjudgmental about this?” Harris asks. That isn’t to say there’s only one right way to, say, teach a student, but we know there are definitely bad ways as well.

Science and evidence are more than mere forces in our lives: they’re ways of knowing something is true. Like Michael Specter, a writer for the New Yorker, said, “You’re not entitled to your own facts.” I find it sickening that people like Fred Phelps can preach similar thoughts about homosexuality, that congressmen can disagree on the existence of climate change, and that 33 percent of homeopathic chiropractors can believe that vaccinations are useless.

Which brings us to another controversy. In 1998, a British medical journal published a study hinting at a connection between autism and a popular vaccine against measles, mumps, and rubella. Hundreds of follow-up studies were done, showing that the connection didn’t exist. Most of the paper’s authors admitted that they had made mistakes in reporting the data.

And yet, 12 years later, we live in the only country where the total number of measles vaccinations is going down, where thousands of parents are refusing to have their children vaccinated at all. Have these parents thought carefully, and decided that the possibility that their child could catch polio, whooping cough, tetanus, hepatitis, and cervical cancer, is worth a nonexistent risk? I don’t think so.

I don’t discourage skepticism. Of course, people should question everything they see—in this world, we have reason to. On the other hand, when they’re offered lots of convincing evidence, there is no reason for them not to believe it, even if it’s not what they originally thought. Just like there’s no reason to beat kids for not paying constant attention in school.

We know it just doesn’t work like that.

Unfortunately, I started to dislike him almost immediately after he began talking.

Davis’ website proclaims that his school assemblies are “primarily designed to motivate youth to reach their potential.” Maybe that would be true if this was the 1940s, and men were still expected to go to college and/or enter the workforce while women stayed in the home. Now, I can appreciate a good “make me a sandwich” joke, but in all seriousness I have higher aspirations than being some guy’s wife. Keith Davis, however, directed all of his “go to college, stay off the streets” statements at the guys in the audience. His advice for women was simply to find a man who will “treat you like a queen.” Oh, and don’t have sex with your boyfriend.

A note to ASB: Our school is totally broke. Next time, don’t pay hard-earned money for a speaker whose message can be summarized by Coach Carr from Mean Girls: “Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.” Perhaps the first clue should have come from his website, which lists “abstinence” AND “promiscuity” as some of his topics. All I could do was sit in the bleachers and shake my head as I heard girls around me cheering for some of the most ridiculous statements about sex and relationships I have ever heard.

Look, I’m glad that Keith Davis changes lives. The task of keeping teenagers out of gangs and off drugs is an important one. I just think it’s unfortunate that he preaches such a backwards message about relationships.

It’s even more unfortunate that girls take it to heart without question. According to Davis’ logic, a girl shouldn’t have sex with her boyfriend if she hypothetically wouldn’t be willing to give him $250. “If you wouldn’t give him that, why would you give him your body so easily?” he asked. What? That made about as much sense as his bit about how “change isn’t change until it’s change” and yet girls were still cheering.

Davis advised us to “build relationships on the front seat of respect, not the back seat of disgrace,” adding that he dated his wife for two years without sleeping with her, because “she’s a queen” and “deserves the best.” Not only was this way too much information, it was misinformation. It is entirely possible to be in a healthy relationship that involves sex, but Davis insisted on reinforcing unfair stereotypes of men as deviant sex maniacs and women as unable to make smart decisions about whom they sleep with.

Ladies, while it is true that boyfriends should never pressure their girlfriends for sex, there is no way that so many of us should have been cheering for Davis’ speech. He and his friend were promoting outdated views on gender roles that are incredibly limiting to women. Instead of clapping, we should have been questioning why he wasn’t telling us we could go to college, or why he was acting like there is only one right course in a relationship.

Davis’ attempts were admirable, but his message needed refining. In this day and age, it is completely unacceptable to walk into a public high school and tell all the girls that if they think they want to have sex, they’re wrong. That kind of close-minded attitude should have no place at Garfield. Also, girls should probably not expect their boyfriends to be drawing them baths with scented candles every night, or whatever it was Davis’ friend was talking about.

That’s just silliness.

Pants parties? Maybe. There must be something better, what will you do tonight? You hang out patiently until, from across the room, your friend announces an interesting function taking place nearby. Your friends all elect to go and you follow reluctantly. Attending house parties can be daunting. There are big kids, unfamiliar animals, and often small rooms. Going to parties takes practice; there are things you can do and things you can’t. In my humble experience with these matters, I have deemed it necessary to delineate a few key pointers.

First of all, bring a snack. This is always a key point. In the midst of a fun party, it’s easy to forget to eat. In order to retain your energy, bring a travel-size snack along. You will not only stay ready for action, but you will also have a conversation starter.

“Hey can I have a chip?”
 
“Yeah, sure.”

“Thanks.”

Conversations and fine dining are always great.
Second on my list is, of course, introduce yourself. In many cultures, a friendly hello is highly expected when you go in someone’s house, or maybe a gift to give to your host as a nice gesture. Most hosts appreciate a good platter of jambalaya. Remember as well, hosts, it’s important to know your guests. The biggest reason people get their houses messed up is because they don’t know anybody inside. Embarrassing and frustrating. Just remember what I always say, “Don’t be a party pooper. Be a friendly fart!”

Give your date a tour of the house. Whether old or young, many girls tend not to know their way around a house. Show them the upstairs, or perhaps the hallway nearby. They’ll be impressed by your instincts and basic knowledge of the house. Don’t have a date? Don’t worry. Busy yourself in the foyer. When a nice girl comes along, ask her for a back massage. Giving back massages is like cleaning; for some reason girls just enjoy doing it. Don’t ask me why. When you’ve secured a comfortable position with your date, ask her to try other positions with you.
Enjoy the little things. Let’s be real honest, some parties are simply not as fun as they should be. I suggest amusing yourself in various ways. Try redecorating furniture or rearranging things in the house. Hosts especially love waking up to items placed in their refrigerator and mom’s bedroom.

Dance. Seriously. It’ll give you exercise. Utilize wall space and chairs. A party without a dance party is known as a dude-fest. This is not advisable. When dancing, it is a fact that the lower the girl bends, the more fat she burns. Guys, be sure to remind your date of this before entering the party.

Take a lap. This is an important one for all those inclined to cause disagreements at a party. If you feel your temper rising or things start to get heated, take a lap. A simple jog around the house is enough to lessen the tension. Fighting with a lover? Let down in the bedroom? Circle the block, the fresh air does wonders.

Save time to help clean up! Self-explanatory. I dream of a world where everybody cleans up at parties. Hosts, if someone cleans up your house, they probably either have nothing to do or they have OCD. Either way, they are the homie.

Don’t be afraid of a good party. Something exciting is bound to happen. Maybe someone will hook up and forget the door’s open, or put the toilet seat in the kitchen. Maybe a fight will occur or the cops will show up. No matter what, you have to be ready. Follow these tips to be successful and I personally guarantee your dreams will come true. And that’s an Andy B. guarantee. 

The wealthier population of the world pities the people living in third world countries, but by our creation of businesses and schooling, aren’t we the ones who have thrust them into poverty? It was only likely that part of the world would fall behind and not have the same access to opportunities when we gradually started to raise the bar. We’ve made it so that the only way to succeed in this world is making money, which, most of the time, means it’s necessary to attend college.

I’m surrounded by friends and family members with amazing academic resumes to flaunt. They’re sitting on 4.0s, and yet still frantically worry about getting into “good” universities. They sign up for hard classes they don’t want to take, and spend time over achieving on assignments that, I’m sure, they already would get As on. There are many instances when I know they sacrifice their adolescence and put school before making memories. We’re always told to put work before play, because we make ourselves believe that if we work now, we can play later, and even though this is the case sometimes, it is never always true; we will never stop working, and even though we complain about homework and bosses, few people ever deviate from the norm and take their life into their own hands.

We refuse to slow down. We refuse to give up. Even though that might sound like an encouraging television commercial for Microsoft or Nike, it’s the reason we’re ruining ourselves. The world is so competitive at this point that in a few decades the difference between rich and poor will be even more drastic than it is now. We suffer, working so hard, either in school or with our jobs, and for what? Earning money gives us a few pleasures, but when we’re on our deathbeds and look back at the times when we were truly happy, I’ll bet money will rarely play a part.

For the past few summers, I’ve been taking family trips with my cousins to Oregon, where our extended family lives in a simple log cabin nestled humbly in, basically, a forest. We spend one night of our trip on top of a small mountain. Our Oregonian family lives so far away from civilization that the entire sky is luminous not by city lights, but by stars. There aren’t any trees at the top of the mountain to block our vision of the sky; they were torn down by a logging company.
I literally feel like I’m on top of the world when I spend the night on that mountain. The only things visible to me are millions of little lights. It makes everything we do here, the choices we think are so important, seem undoubtedly arbitrary compared to the infinite amount of space that lies beyond this planet. We’ve created a pointless system for us to live up to, and the only good resulting from it is our material happiness. My Center School friend was correct when she said “college is stupid” because it’s trapped us: without it, we’ll fail. We’re trapped by our own device, and most of us don’t even realize it.

Fitted caps, fresh Jordans, True Religion jeans. Looking good does not come without a price tag, and it is often a fat one. Any girl will be the first to tell you that glamming up is expensive, especially when a good brand of mascara is seventeen bucks. The constant purchases of beauty products and clothing and the time that girls spend utilizing them is what gives society the assumption that women dedicates more to their appearance than the opposite gender does. This stereotype has been played up by the media, mostly displayed in a humorous example that can be seen in a sitcom. But in most cases, the amount of money and time both genders spend on their appearances break even. And in many examples, guys often dedicate more to their looks than most girls do.

Take for example, the male cast mates of MTV’s hit reality show, Jersey Shore. The show is a documentation of eight young Italian American adults and their drunken escapades in the clubs on the Jersey Shore. The three male cast mates spend three quarters of their day on their bodies, working on their fake tan, pumping iron, and applying obscene amounts of gel to their hair. Their whole schedule is focused around their appearance and they seem even more self conscious than the girls do (remember when Mike “The Situation” pouted a whole night of clubbing away because he didn’t like his outfit?).Looking good is just as important to them as their female housemates, if not even more so. And while the depiction of their grooming habits may have been blown out of proportion by the media, there are plenty of guys who care about their appearance as much as the Jersey Shore boys.

Everyone knows a guy kind of like the ones on Jersey Shore. He might not own a personal tanning bed or use up an entire tube of gel in a day, but he definitely pays close attention to the way he’s looking. Maybe he waits in line for eight hours in front of Footlocker to get the limited edition Space Jam Jordan’s, or maybe he covers up his zits with his sister’s foundation. And everyone knows a girl who rocks sweatpants everyday and couldn’t care less about the way she looks. Not all girls care obsess over their physical beauty just like not every boy wears the same pair of socks for a week or doesn’t do something about his uni-brow. In fact, my showering habits resembled the man’s more than it did the woman’s. Minus the butt-hairs of course.