Officer James Lee reports:

“I observed the suspect standing in front of a pay box [for a self-pay parking lot] on the west side of 6th Ave S just north of S King St. The suspect was facing the pay box and appeared nervous. He was constantly turning around to see if anyone was watching him. At one point, he noticed my police vehicle, quickly turned, and walked away. I stopped and detained the suspect for possible pay box looting. During a pat down, I felt what I believed to be crumpled bills and a metal object. I removed these items and found a metal wire commonly used by thieves for pay box looting. I also found two one-dollar bills that were folded lengthwise and torn as if it had been forcibly removed from a pay box. When confronted w/ these items, the suspect replied, ‘Uh, I didn’t take it from that pay box.’ I placed the items I found into SPD evidence.”

Career Recommendation: For all of you out there considering a career in crime, don’t be like this guy; please, please learn how to lie!

10/18/03: Yesler Way & Occidental Ave. S
Incident: Unlawful discharge of a laser

Officer M. Ness Reports:

“On 10/18/03 at approximately 2:54 am, Officer Giroux and I were conducting routine patrol in the Pioneer Square Area. As we reached the intersection of Yesler Way and Occidental Ave. S and the stop sign there, we both observed several persons standing on the SE corner. We also observed a red laser light that was being pointed directly at us and our vehicle. The light was coming from the left hand of the suspect Jackson, [although at that time we did not know where the light was coming from.]

We stopped the vehicle at the stop sign, and I began to open my door to get out and look for the suspect. As I started to open the door, suspect Jackson dropped the aim point of the laser light, tracking a line from the police vehicle…across the sidewalk…up the bench…and finally to his person, where he turned it off and quickly tried to hide the pointer, stuffing it into his left jacket pocket.

Officer Ness made contact w/ suspect Jackson. Jackson was searched, and a silver-colored pointer was removed from the left jacket pocket. Jackson was then placed in custody, then transported to the precinct. The incident and the arrest was screened by Sgt. Williams. Suspect was booked for investigation of Unlawful Discharge of Laser.”

Let’s examine the demographics of our prestigious Pioneer Square. Is there any square inch that is not covered by a homeless person? They are just begging to be pranked on. Pray tell, good sir, why didn’t you just pick one of them? Why did you have to pick a policeman!? Tip number two if you want to go into crime: AVOID policemen, don’t seek their attention. Oh, and as a side note, if you really wanted to be that obvious, you shouldn’t have used a laser. You should have just socked the policeman in the eye and held up a sign that says, “Arrest me.”

Theft Officer Chan reports:

“Victim Goodrich called 911 and said he saw a male with a white T-shirt and black pants break the window on a vehicle [Honda] parked at the listed location. Goodrich was watching the suspect from a block away. Suspect was also described as having a large ‘Af-ro.’

I was told by SPD radio that the witness said the suspect was standing at 36th Ave S and S Dakota St. I saw the suspect standing on the east side of [the street] and contacted him. Victim Goodrich positively identified the correct suspect. Suspect was extremely intoxicated. I read him his rights. Suspect said he broke the window by pulling it out, because a female was ‘f—in’ with him. [Suddenly], an Asian male walked up to the victim’s vehicle and drove it away before he could be questioned. He clearly saw us there and did not make any contact with us before leaving the scene.”

Analogy Time! HONDA:ASIANS:: a) Thanksgiving turkey: Men b) Tofu Turkey: Deprived souls c) Alder: Pot d) Burien: Nobody under the age of 65 e) All of the above

A good formula sentence for this analogy is: Hondas attract all Asians. All of the choices fit well with this bridge, thus the correct answer is “E.”

Isn’t a police officer supposed to do something when he sees someone stealing a car? Nah, too cliché. I give this cop a “10” for originality.

10–05-03: 4510 3rd Ave
Incident: Theft

Officer Wes Ferris reports:

“Victim Kathlyn H. used to have a 100ft pine tree in her garden on the south side of the house and she just realized that it was gone. Possibly cut down sometime last month. No sign of tree in neighbor’s yard. The neighbor to the S. of her is building a new house and she thinks he may have done away with the tree. Case number left with victim.”

How do you steal a 100ft pine tree without the owner noticing it? Better yet, how do you not notice someone sawing down and stealing a huge-ass tree from your front yard?!

9–16-03: Barnes and Noble
Incident: Property damage

Officer A. Sheheen reports:

“The witness is the store security guard for B&N bookstore located in University Village. He was working in the store when he observed the suspect remove two magazines from the magazine rack inside the store.

“These two magazines had protective plastic wrappers on them. The security guard observed the suspect take these two magazines into the restroom of the store and enter a stall. The security guard followed the suspect into the restroom but remained unnoticed by the suspect. The guard noticed that only he and the suspect were in the restroom at the time. The guard then heard the suspect tear open the plastic wrapper on one of the magazines and heard the pages being opened. A while later, the guard heard another plastic wrapper being torn off and heard the pages being opened. The guard said that the suspect stayed in the bathroom reading the magazines for about 45 minutes.”

And so, when the suspect left, the security guard managed to tackle him and detain him. One question: What kind of magazine makes a man go into a bathroom stall and “sit” there for 45 minutes? It’s not Home Living, I can tell you that.

9–16-03: 19th Ave.
Incident: Threat Officer

W.R. Moran reports:

“Lampley listed the incoming phone number. Lampley states that between Sept. 15 and 16, she received about 30 telephone calls from an unknown suspect who threatened to…blow up her house…and slap her sister.” Lampley listened and then hung up the phone. Lampley will contact her phone company to track incoming calls.”

I’m surprised the SWAT team wasn’t called in. Where’s James Bond when you need him?

9–20-03: 73rd Ave.
Incident: Suspicious circumstances

Officer K. Bair reports:

“Eggs and baked beans were thrown all over the victim’s car and dried in the sun. Unknown damage.”

“Victim is in the National Guard and has experienced many injustices from fellow military personnel. The most recent [injustice] occurred in ethics class yesterday at Camp Murray. At the end of class, the victim was given the detail of cleaning the tables. She came across a classmate’s notebook and saw drawings of Swatstikas he had created.”

Wait a minute. The fact that she intruded on someone’s private property and discovered a mindless drawing is an “injustice” to her!?

“The instructor also saw it and was equally distracted, according to the victim. The victim later told [the matter] in casual conversation to approximately five individuals. The victim’s car that sits out in front of her house had eggs and baked beans thrown all over it. Victim believes this is somehow related to the info she told her class instructor.”

I’d bet you five bucks one of her neighbors just didn’t like their breakfast. Or her, for that matter.

On August 27, just a week before school started, John Jasmer, a student at Roosevelt High School, was found dead in a shallow grave, murdered by his friends just west of the new Tulalip Casino.

In a case that will be brought to trial October 17, Snohomish County Superior Court prosecutors are accusing Joshua Goldman, 17, and Jenson Hankins, 16, both juniors at RHS, of murdering their fellow football teammate and good friend. According to charging documents, the two friends killed Jasmer for allegedly raping Hankinsʼ girlfriend.

Prior to the murder, Hankinsʼ girlfriend had recanted the accusation of rape, and thus no charges had been filed against Jasmer. The alleged victimʼs father insists that she withdrew charges for fear of Jasmerʼs vengeance; apparently Hankins and Goldman werenʼt convinced of Jasmerʼs innocence either.

The two teenagers reportedly began to plan the murder of John Jasmer more than a month before the actual killing. “Jenson [Hankins] was a quiet, personable kid,” said Steven Blum, a junior at Roosevelt. “It totally came as a shock that this happened.”

The plan consisted of luring Jasmer into the Marysville woods by telling him they were going to buy some marijuana. There, in the woods, they attacked him with a hammer and knives. Not only were they successful in their plan, they also stole about $110 in cash from Jasmer.

Many feel that the premeditation is the most frightening aspect of the crime. “It was pretty sick how they could still hang out with him,” said Alex Ferguson, a junior at Roosevelt. “I mean, they still were ʻfriendsʼ while they were planning the whole thing.”

In the arraignment, the two were accused of first degree murder. It has also been determined that they will be charged as adults for the crime. According to county prosecutors, they were charged as adults because of the brutality and premeditation involved. Although they confessed to the police that they had planned the murder for a month or more, both pleaded not guilty.

The reaction to the case has been very much unanimous. “I really felt sick to my stomach,” said Ferguson. “When I woke up that morning, my mom asked me if I knew a guy named John Jasmer, then told me that he was murdered by his friends. I really felt sick.”

“I was really surprised, and it just seemed too close to home,” said a former teammate of Hankinsʼ girlfriend. “The fact that something I see on the news in different states happened here in the North End was really disturbing.”

Garfield students also agree. “When I read the article, I was just so appalled that teenagers could do that,” said Max Pipinich, a junior at Garfield.

Hopefully, Roosevelt will be able to recover from this shock. To help ease the pain of losing a loved one, Roosevelt now has temporary counselors and psychologists on hand for the students. Also, a grievance counselor recently met with the football team to discuss the difficult subject of death.

Whatever happens, however, Roosevelt has a lot to deal with. “This guy who was really close friends with them got up during his free-write in Language Arts to read [his paper],” said Ferguson. “He said, ʻYeah, this year will suck because I lost three of my best friends.ʼ”

“I hate the district. How come they canʼt keep track of money?”

“Garfield got screwed over by the district…”

Yes, there is a problem. Garfield is getting about $3,500 per student, while Eastside high schools are getting around $5,000. But complaining about it to ourselves isnʼt going to help. We have to act, be it making our own money or making our voices heard.

Yes, itʼs the districtʼs duty to fund schools with the money that is needed. But whining obviously isnʼt going to help. The school district wants a clean record for the levy coming up in February, so theyʼre going to steal the Walmart smiley face and “Roll back!” We canʼt count on the district to give us money, so we need to act and raise the money ourselves, at least for the time being.

Actions speak louder than words. Last year, when the school got wind of the Reduction in Force (RIF) that was going to happen, many concerned Garfield students met in the library to share their comments. What happened after that? The large mass disintegrated into only a select few of about 10 people. Whining amongst ourselves is pointless; itʼs like agreeing with yourself. We need to act and get organized, and take our concerns straight to the district in a unified shout.

Be it making our own money or making our own voices heard, sitting around and complaining to our friends is about as productive as Santa Clause without Rudolph. We need to act.

This problem is not just with me, itʼs all over the neighborhood. The Central District has shed its image as a ghetto slum – made official by the establishment of the Starbucks on 23rd and Jackson – and is now at a crucial stage in its development. The last obstacle may be the residents themselves. Law enforcement officials, safety advocates and community members agree that citizens need to overcome their fears and speak up when violence and crime raise their ugly heads.

“Nobody wants to be a target,” said Carl Thompson, owner of Thompsonʼs Point of View at 23rd and Union. “There needs to be some sort of vehicle for people to come forward without fear of retaliation.”

“[The problem] is not being focused on enough by our so-called leaders,” Thompson added. “I would love to see a concerned group come together to form some sort of committee, a non-partisan group, to work with the agencies to achieve those goals.”

City officials are trying. Every month, neighborhood leaders and law enforcement officials have formed an East Precinct Crime Prevention Coalition that meets monthly to address issues facing the community.

In addition, Central District residents are relying heavily on the “Weed and Seed” program, which combines law enforcement (“weeding”) and a variety of prevention programs (“seeding”), to make our neighborhood safer. Itʼs a federally funded, five-year program that aims to reduce crime within a targeted community. In this case itʼs Garfieldʼs ground, the Central District.

Weed and Seed holds monthly meetings that consist of concerned citizens presenting their complaints to various members of the city such as Seattle Police Captain Frank Hill. By recording these complaints, Weed and Seed is trying to locate the hotspots for crime in the district. “If we have a hotspot, I can pay officers to go to that specific community,” said Captain Hill. “Weed and Seed provides the funding that is needed to hire these overtime officers.”

The Seed part encompasses education and leadership development programs aimed at prevention of these crimes. By presenting these opportunities, Seed hopes to “plant” the community with young people who will not look to gangs and crime. The theory is that once the Seeds take root, there will be no more need for Weed.

Although Weed and Seed is a good program, it does not tackle the issues of anonymity. “Yes, thereʼs always more work to be done,” said LiLi Liu when asked about this problem. “The fear of retaliation is pretty strong.”

Weed and Seed project coordinator Barbara Biondo agreed.

“Somebodyʼs got to get over that fear, somebodyʼs got to do it,” Biondo said. “If everyoneʼs scared, itʼs hard, because no one speaks out.”

The most recent East Precinct Crime Prevention Coalition meeting provided a testimonial. “I noticed an increase in violence around my block,” said a concerned community member. “When there were some guns going off about a half-block away, I had to call like six times; nobody else had called in.”