Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma State vs. Stanford, January 2nd, 5:30 p.m.

Both teams look like real contenders for the national championship, so this game should be quite heated.  State has only one loss, to a meager Iowa State team after three OSU coaches perished in a plane crash mere days before.  Stanford, on the other hand, lost a thriller to Oregon in which Andrew Luck’s top deep threat was hurt.  Both have wins over top ten teams as well.  The game also shows possibly the nation’s top two passers in Andrew Luck and Brandon Weeden.  Both are on the Heisman Ballot and Luck is expected to win it.

Pick: Oklahoma state wins an offensive thriller 37–30

Rose Bowl: Oregon vs. Wisconsin, January 2nd, 2:oo p.m.

Two star running backs, arguably the nation’s best, square off in the Tournament of Roses, and both offenses will be going wild.  Montee Ball of Wisconsin brings power and force, while LaMichael James brings lightning speed and quickness.  Both defenses are also astounding, with Wisconsin’s being able to stop the run and Oregon priding itself as one of the best secondaries in the NCAA.  However, Oregon just dismissed All-American cornerback Cliff Harris.  The X factor may be Wisconsin quarterback Russel Wilson, who can use his feet as well as his arm to make plays.  Wilson, a transfer from NC State, is also a coveted baseball player.  This will likely be his last game in a football uniform.  Look for him to go off.

Pick: Wisconsin 35–21

Sugar Bowl:  Michigan vs. Virginia Tech, January 3rd, 8:30 p.m.

Tech had two losses this season, both to Clemson.  Michigan, on the other hand, lost two close games: one to Michigan State (on a last second hail mary), the other to Iowa.  The Wolverines boast the nation’s most athletic quarterback, Denard Robinson, who has skimmed the surface of Heisman talks.  Both defenses are right next to each other in points against, so expect a defensive battle.  Tech however, has not beaten a team in the BCS top 25 all season, and played a soft schedule.  Expect Michigan to make big plays.

Pick:  Michigan 21–3

Orange Bowl:  West Virginia vs. Clemson, January 4th, 5:30 p.m.

This game is, arguably, between the two weakest teams to make it to a BCS bowl.  Clemson has shown it can be an offensive powerhouse behind freshman do-it-all receiver Sammy Watkins.  West Virginia, on the other hand, is barely ranked in the top 25 and has struggled against a soft Big East Schedule.  The top threat for the Mountaineers is Geno Smith, who has thrown for 4,000 yards this season, which ranks 7th in the country.  Offenses should dominate this game, but Clemson will pull it out as though the team has something to prove.

Pick: Clemson 30–13

BCS National Championship:  Alabama vs. Louisiana State, January 9th, 5:30 p.m.

Everybody remembers the OT thriller in which LSU beat ‘Bama 9–6.  This game boasts a matchup between the top two defenses in the country.  Both teams had Heisman finalists in Trent Richardson (Alabama) and Tyrran “Honeybadger” Mathieu, the first top 5 Heisman finalist in a decade who plays on the defensive side of the ball.  Mathieu is also one of the best punt returners in the country.

The rivalry between these two teams is intense. Both are from the SEC west, and many of the players played high school football together.  In their meeting during the regular season, Alabama kickers missed a combined four field goals, all from 44 yards or longer.

In aperfect storybook ending, ‘Bama kicker Cade Foster, who was responsible for three of the missed field goals, will kick a fifty yard field goal to win the National Championship and the team will carry him off the field. And that is exactly what is going to happen.

Pick: Alabama 10–7

The Ratings:
★ — First Base
★★ — Second Base
★★★ — Third Base
★★★★ — Home Run!

Pike Place Market  
★★★
Yes, it sounds corny, but based on a Messenger female poll, most ladies actually love Pike Place Market.  Bring your girl to a crowded flea market, and treat her like she is the only one there.  The market offers everything from flowers to salmon throwing, and restaurants that only offer sausage.  The northwest culture flows through Pike Place like blood through veins, and your girl should love feeling right at home.  It offers a plethora of romantic views, as well as open air right in the heart of downtown Seattle, with the dazzling lights all around the market.

Athletic Event
★★
This really depends on the type of girl.  Most girls think that they are doing their men a favor by going to a football game, since men love to go to a sports game and show off their girl.  You can please a man by attending a Seahawks game etc. but it can also please the woman to know that she is spending quality time with this supposedly romantic male.  (See homecooked meal for post game activities)

Volunteer Park After Dark
★★★
Women LOVE dark spooky places.  Especially when they feel slightly scared, but are bundled up in their boo’s reassuring arms.  Add this to the known history and creepiness of Volunteer Park, and it should be a date to remember.  The park after dark offers an array of places to take your female.  The best place is the donut structure that is right in the center of the park.  Offering a view of the space needle and downtown, it is a sure spot to get hot.  For couples looking for a more private place, the top of the water tower also offers an amazing 360 degree view of Seattle.  The best place, however, is of course the dark forested area of Volunteer Park.  Nobody is sure what is hidden back there in those woods, but it will surely add to the steaminess of your night.

Home Cooked Meal
★★★★
Being able to cook for yourself is a very useful skill to have.  It saves time and money.  But being able to cook for a lady is a definite added bonus to your night.  To challenge yourself, try a filet mignon, and also let her know that your skill on the grill is superior to hers.  It builds a manly demeanor in her eyes.

Dinner and the Opera
★
Yeah, this is a great place to take a girl… if you want a hug. No, taking a girl to the opera house might have worked 200 years ago, but times have changed. Instead of seeing your date open up physically and/or emotionally, you are much more likely to weird her out and be cast into the eternal damnation which awaits in the “Friend Zone”.

Unless, of course, you’re on a date with opera enthusiast Emma Baker. In that case, this date will grant you a key to Emma’s room in the hotel of hearts. But who uses keys anymore? Swipe cards are much more efficient.

Seattle Center Fun Forest
★★
Bumper cars, laster tag, that one bowling game with the circles that nobody knows the name of… it’s the closest you can get to a country fair, all smack dab in the middle of our beautiful Emerald City. Ferris wheel? Check. Overpriced popcorn vendor? You betcha. Weird old carnies? Close enough.

Yet for all its theoretical appeal, this place lacks a distinctly romantic edge. Maybe it’s the daunting prospect that winning her a giant stuffed animal (the classic deal-breaker) will cost you a months worth of allowance. Or it could be the fact that you’re surrounded by screaming little brats shouting for ice cream. But it’s probably just the hobo sleeping on the bench next to you.

Note: We’ve just been informed that the Fun Forest closed in 2010. What? You don’t care, it was only two stars anyway.

Sunset at Discovery Park
★★★★
There’s a reason it’s called Discovery Park: here, you’ll find yourself exploring the deepest emotional depths of your partners being. You know, on second thought, this might not be the best place to take a girl — it’s the best place to take a lady. Beams of faltering sunlight breaking through a leafy-canvas, creatures of the sea crashing through a wild surf, earthy scents orchestrating together to create a melody of aroma: what’s not to love?

I don’t care what Carl says, this is just about as romantic as you can get. With this lady-killer of lady-killers in your artillery of moves, there’s no way you can do wrong.

Love strong, bulldogs. Love strong.

Kovar plays for the Sounders developmental team and also for the US u-18 national team.  He was allowed to play for Garfield up until this year, but will not be seen in purple come springtime due to commitments to the Sounder squad.

In recent years, American clubs have been creating developmental teams, hoping that one day these players will be able to play among the MLS ranks. Unlike other professional sports, these players are bonded with teams before they get drafted, sign a contract, or even reach the age of adulthood.

Many Americans believe American sports currently go too far over the top, with high school recruiting and even middle school recruiting, government funding for stadiums, and kids being exposed at too young of an age to the promise of an illustrious professional sports career. This new format is following a model however, a model that is more than a century deep in tradition.When Christiano Ronaldo left Manchester United, he signed a new contract worth approximately $16 million per year.  However, Real Madrid, the team that purchased him, paid Manchester United over $100 million for his rights to a new contract.

Manchester United, the most popular sports team in the world, is worth an estimated $1.7 billion.  Man U has academy teams as low as age 9, (a player just got signed at age 7) bringing in players from around the world to train for years before they ever make it onto Old Trafford, Man U’s hallowed ground.  Scouts are paid to scour the world and be the first to recognize young talent when they see it.  Soccer is the only professional sport where a club has to literally buy a player from another team (so the team makes money) and also negotiate a new salary to pay the player.

Kovar is essentially bound to the Sounders, yet hasn’t ever signed a contract.  This goes for fellow Sounders Academy players Sam Perkins, a Garfield junior, and Abdullahi Abdi, a sophomore, as well.  In a sense, the athletes are actually owned by their clubs, and the club holds the rights to their talents.  Kovar, Perkins, and Abdi are not allowed to sign a contract with another team, cannot tryout for another team, and cannot compete with another team without the Sounders Academy permission.  However, the limited contractual freedom is worth it to Abdi, who says “We get so many opportunities that other players don’t get.”

The Sounders have what Kovar calls “the rights of first refusal.  If any pro club tries to sign us, they have to pay the Sounders,” he says. “Under any circumstances, [the Sounders] have first priority.”  The Sounders Academy does not cost its recruits any money, but unlike other top teams in Europe, there is no school accompanying the team.  “It’s pretty unfair, but Real Salt Lake has a residency school,” says Perkins.  Now Real Salt Lake is known for churning out the best MLS players, somewhat due to this advantage.  The reason many clubs do this now is that it keeps them from having to do huge buyouts from other clubs to get the top players.

While some companies hold their assets in stocks or bonds, sports teams invest in people. Says Perkins, “we’re basically an investment.”

Here are a few more sports that top the list as the biggest hipster movements in Seattle.

Ultimate Frisbee
“Frizz” takes its roots in Seattle, and has attained a level of popularity in Seattle that is unseen anywhere else.  Teams not only play to beat each other, but also compete for spirit points, an award given to the team with the most respectful players.  Sounds soft, but chasing this award has been ingrained into Garfield players heads.  Junior Frizzmaster Evan Barley-Greenfield weighs in, stating, “What you might know is Garfield got fifth in state last year, but what you should know is we received the highest spirit score, the achievement that all teams strive for.”  Frizzbasegod Conor Eckert chose to play ultimate frisbee this year because, “the actual idea of playing a sport where people can touch me is scary and would ruin it for me.”

Barley-Greenfield, a frisbee veteran since freshman year has had time to mature among the frisbee ranks and enjoys looking back on the best aspects of the sport.  “I really like the communal aspect of frisbee.  There might be two teams on the field, but we’re all part of one big hipster family.”

What’s next for these disc-hounds?  Perhaps a protest for the rights of farm animals made for slaughter?  Only time can tell whether this sport will survive in the money infatuated era that all other sports have succumbed to today.

Dodgeball
Want to throw some balls at some weak willed, skinny jean-wearing hipsters?  Dodgeball every Friday has just this to offer.  Under the lights of Bobby Morris Park, an enclave of Broadway area residents trek to the tennis courts to play a sport that seems to lose its steam with many after 5th grade.  “Dodgeball is played almost entirely by hipsters, and has attracted a unique crowd near broadway,” says Garfield junior Shane “Nelly” Nelson.  However, past struggles over the rights to the tennis courts keep dodgeballers on their toes, hoping it can keep the court space at Bobby Morris Park.  Nonetheless, Nelly breaks out his swagsneakers (which are actually just unlaced Converses) each Friday, and heads down to the courts.  “I also get to mingle with other hipsters and show off my fixie.”  When asked what a fixie is, Nelson gives a quick arrogant hipster laugh, something that all hipsters share in common, and explains that it is an expensive bike with no brakes.  Apparently it is creative and artsy.

Roller Derby
Love football but hate all of the commercials? Or do you love Roller Skating but miss the bone crushing hits? If so, Roller Derby is the sport for you. Predominantly a female sport, Roller Derby became popular in the 1940s and has been around ever since. The game is a simple one. With five players to a side the skaters skate around a ring. There is one “Pivot” to each side who set the pace for the match. Behind them are the blockers who pave the way. Each team has one “Jammer” who is the point scorer for the team. In a nutshell, the team whose Jammer passes as many of the opposing players wins.

Roller Derby is available at an early age with leagues sprouting up all around Seattle. Martina Hildreth, a Garfield student involved in the sport, says she “loves how competitive everyone gets during games even though they are all close friends at practice”. Easy to get competitive about something when your opponent is a foot away from you, doing everything they can to stop you dead in your tracks. As a result, the sport often creates heavy hits and hard fouls, increasing excitement for spectators and giving it a tough, in your face attitude.

Adding to the wacky, hectic fun is that each player has a derby name. They are usually tough but funny nicknames. Dammage Patch Kids, Happy Killmore, Johnny Krash, and Uncle Slam are just a few to be named.

Seattle’s local team, the Rat City Rollergirls, is the real deal, placing 2nd in nationals in both 2006 and 2007.

Bike Polo
See POTI.

Street Chal(J)ers = Louisville
These boys get the award for stupidest team name for the third year in a row.  CHAL contains little athleticism, except for Joe Renner, who is never included in the pronunciation of their name, despite being by the far their best player.  Hank Droege, a lanky big man, has had difficulty putting up points down low, due in part to his frail stature   Cody Browne, equally uncoordinated, can occasionally rebound, but cannot really handle the ball.  The wild card for this team is Liam Mcfeely, a streaky shooter but good passer, resembling Peyton Siva, except white and less athletic.

The Biggest Mess = UAB
You might be asking yourself, who the hell is UAB?  You might also be asking yourself, who the hell are The Biggest Mess?  These teams compare because neither should have made the tournament.  UAB (Alabama-Birmingham) was a wild card selection in the tournament, and The Biggest Mess (Jenny Lin, Briana Dearing, Emma Baker, Hannah Collins) never scored a single point.  In a short interview of TBM, I asked, “was it worth it to spend $16, knowing you would get crushed?”  Jenny Lin replied in the affirmative, saying, “It was because I finally got to figure out what a rebound was!”

Los Amigos & Ellen = Virginia Commonwealth
VCU was the surprise of the real March Madness, making it to the Final Four as an 11 seed.  Good coaching and great shooting were the main contributors to VCU’s historic run as one of the biggest upset teams of all time.  Los Amigos has followed a similar path.  Comprised of undersized JVC basketball players, the team needed to shoot well to win.  Against the 1 seed Steady Smashin’ Cats with varsity player Garrett Hopper, the Amigos hit over ten shots from beyond the arc, thoroughly outplaying their opponents.  Both teams also eventually fell just short of the championship.

Varsity Rejects = UConn
The team to finally win it all, the Varsity Rejects used their shooting prowess to combat their lack of stature.  Their main scorer, O’Brien Moland, showed off a Kemba Walker-like jump shot, and point guard and tournament MVP Eyuen Moreira carried the team. In the final, the Rejects were able to hit seven consecutive threes, obliterating L.O.E.’s hopes for a March Madness championship.

The world’s highest paid athlete had nothing to say when confronted about being caught skinny dipping in the 18th hole water hazard pond on his golf course with Bree Olsen, porn star by profession and gold digger by heart.  Olsen is perhaps best known for being one of Charlie Sheen’s goddesses, or one of the many women that lives in his stable.  Olsen seemed very excited about the whole situation, noting, “Charlie has more than one girlfriend so I have more than one boyfriend.  It all works out.”  Sheen was reached for comments, but seemed to be in a drunken rampage, claiming he “will beat the living s*** out him if he touches her… abagabagabaga (yack).”  The rest of Sheen’s comments were muffled and unintelligible (the interview was done by phone).

HBO has offered over $5 million each for the two (sort of) bachelors to fight, but neither has decided whether to participate or not.  Welterweight boxing champ Floyd “Money” Mayweather has agreed to train Tiger, stating. “As a fellow professional athlete, I like the way he lives and does business. What’s wrong with getting down with a few porn stars?”  It is not yet known if Mayweather plans on making money off the fight, but he is well known as a greedy, money-hording slut.

Woods’ ex-wife, Elin Nordegren, was grief stricken about the incident. “I had no idea he was going to get over me so quickly… his Range Rover may need another beating.” Edegren was recently named Alpha-Female of the year from Les Beaux Magazine after it turned out that what was originally thought to be a car crash was actually just her beating the poop out of Tiger Woods with his own golf club.

Sheen on the other hand, claimed he had an interest in Nordegren, noting that her sex appeal for beating up Tiger was “undeniably attractive.”

In other news involving Sheen and Woods, texts from the two turned up on an internet site called, “Texts from Last Night”.  Both made attempts to apologize to their ex’s but got side tracked and began talking about the need for more alcohol.

Elin was unable to comment about Tiger’s recent attempts to get her back, as she has been busy working on her new video game, “AlphaWife”.  The game will involve strategic ways for women to figure out whether their husbands are cheating.  “I’m hoping to inspire a whole new generation of women gamers that will be able to overpower their husbands.”  Nordegren was seen partying at the Les Beaux nightclub (no relation to the magazine) after plans for the game were announced.

Sheen tried to get in on the nightclub action, but was held down and beaten by several masculine looking females.

Sheen was checked into a mental institution, but was kicked out in a matter of minutes after trying to “grope the nurse”.  He still plans to continue with his country-wide tour, providing he doesn’t get arrested any more.

Cam Newton has drawn comparisons to similar draft busts from recent years.  What other quarterback came out of the SEC a few years ago, filled with hype about his size, athleticism and arm strength?  Jamarcus Russell, the first pick in the 2007 NFL draft from LSU.  How did he fare?  Currently, Russell is unemployed, and not because of the lockout, but because he wasn’t actually any good.  Another quarterback he is compared to is Vince Young, a star from Texas who flirted with suicide and then became awful for the Tennessee Titans.

And no, Newton is nothing like Michael Vick.  Vick ran a 4.25 40 yard dash time, almost a half second faster than Newton, and is 6 inches shorter, 35 pounds lighter, and much quicker.

Newton was also involved in a huge scandal at Auburn that saw his father getting arrested.  Newton got off easy, claiming he had no idea that he was being offered money at certain schools.  Years from now, the NCAA will find out, and all those awards for Auburn will be likely taken away.

Cam Newton was a great runner in college because he was exceptionally fast (4.59 40 time) for his size, but mostly because he could use his size and strength to overpower defenders.  Being faster than defensive linemen, and bigger than the secondary made him a lethal weapon as a runner for Auburn.  In the NFL however, defenses are bigger, faster, and more athletic.  There will be linebackers with the speed to run him down, and bigger defensive backs that will be able to tackle him.

Jarring hits that would usually knock a quarterback out of the game did not phase Newton, but the same cannot be said in the NFL, where the physicality and intensity rises to a whole new level.  Newton will not be able to run 15–20 times a game like he did in college.

At the NFL combine, Newton had a less than stellar performance while throwing to other future NFL receivers.  His arm showed inaccuracy throughout the day.  His completion percentage may have been good in college, but only because he was able to throw off defenses with his run game.  Newton simply won’t be able to handle the job of throwing 35 passes a game.

Looking through video, it’s impossible to find one play where Cam Newton’s receiver wasn’t wide open.This is because Newton hardly ever threw the ball, so when he actually did make a pass, it came as more of a surprise to the defense.

Newton averaged 200 yards a game passing and only 19 passing attempts a game, and 19 rushing attempts.  This will definitely change in the NFL, where he will run at most 7 to 8 times a game.

Compare this to draft competition Ryan Mallett, who is entering the draft as a junior (like Newton) from Arkansas.  Mallett averaged 333 yards a game passing, and threw for 1,000 more yards than Newton.  He also had about 150 more attempts than Newton, making him a much safer bet for the NFL style of play.  Although Mallett’s Arkansas squad lost to Auburn in the regular season, Mallett looked like a much better quarterback prospect.

Offenses are completely different in the NFl.  Newton was able to run an offense  at Auburn that pretty much involved him making plays by himself and improvising.  In the league, he simply won’t be able to do this.  He still has yet to take the Wonderlic test (football IQ), and when  asked questions in game situations, Newton was slow and sometimes unable to answer.  Newton had his fame, but it won’t last in the NFL.

Nemeth’s biggest competitor in the event was a friend from his club team King Aquatic, making the race all the more intense.

“Halfway through the race I was a full second behind him, but I was able to catch up in the backstroke leg and hold him off in the freestyle, and won by an arm’s length.” Nemeth was named state champion, winning the event in 1 minute and 54 seconds. He also placed third in the 50 freestyle.

“To have something you have worked at almost your entire life pay off like that is an incredible feeling.”

One aspect of Nemeth’s personality that stands out is his humbleness. Talking to him, one would never realize that he’s one of the top swimmers in the state.

Most people think of fun, summer, and goofing around when they see a swimming pool. But when Andrew first saw a swimming pool, he knew it was his calling. Starting from age eight, Nemeth excelled at the sport, saying that “it came more naturally to me” than with other sports. He began competing for Swim Seattle along with future high school teammate Reid Walker (now swimming at the University of Texas). Even before hitting middle school Andrew saw swimming as more than a sport, but a lifestyle for him. He quickly became a great competitor and worked endlessly to perfect his stroke and times.

In high school, Nemeth switched to King Aquatic Club in Federal Way to compete at a higher level. “Practices were much more intense,” claims Nemeth, who had to make a 30 minute commute Monday thru Friday for practices. “I had to practice from 3:15 to 6:30 every school night, and then when I finally got home all I had time to do was homework.”

Nemeth loved everything that came with the sport, including the grueling workouts but the most important thing he learned was discipline.

“I was able to stay committed to it for a long time, and it helped me learn how to set goals and dedicate myself to something.”

Next year Nemeth plans to take his talents to Williams College in Massachusetts, winners of the past eight NESCAC (New England Small College Athletic League) league titles, and one of the top division three swimming schools in the country.

Nemeth anticipates making an impact quickly with Williams, and hopes his work ethic will pay off in college.

2009/10 New Jersey Nets
Young talent can only take a team so far, and in this case, it wasn’t very far at all. Finishing a league worst 12–70, and becoming the NBA’s fifth team to lose 70 games, the Nets were three games from tying the league record for least amount of wins.  The franchise was filled with up-and comers, but unfortunately, they were still, well, up and coming.

2010/11 Cleveland Cavaliers
It’s good Lebron got out while he could.  The team flirted with a .500 record (going 5–8) before playing against their former superstar’s Miami Heat squad for the first time. Would The Cavs show Lebron why he should have stayed?  Would the new all-star trio of the Heat light up the arena?  Well, it turned into a blowout, and he did indeed light up the scoreboard much to the dismay of the once loyal Lebron Cavalier fans.  Since the meeting, the Cavs have gone 3–36, and went winless in the month of January.

This past week’s matchup against the 13–37 Washington Wizards marked the worst game in the NBA this season, but it had some flame to it.  The Cavaliers were on a 25 game losing streak, and the Wizards were on a 25-game road-losing streak (they hadn’t won road game all year), and yes, the game was in Cleveland.  The Wizards ended up winning by five, keeping the Cavaliers winless yet again.  Something had to give.

2009 Detroit Lions
As if the city of Detroit wasn’t awful enough, their sports teams have nailed the coffin shut on any possibility of success with some of the worst records in recent history.  This particular team took the word awful to heart and went 0–16 in the 2009 season.  With a rookie quarterback and a team of youngsters and first year players, the Lions compiled the worst record ever for a non-expansion team.  They looked so bad out there that the team was considering moving after just building a brand new stadium.  How they got the money to build that stadium in a bankrupt city is still a mystery to me.

2003 Detroit Tigers
This team came within one game of setting the all time record for worst MLB record ever.  The best tickets in the stadium were being sold for under $20, and outfield tickets were reportedly given away for free.  It must be pretty embarrassing to be a pro athlete and not even be a celebrity in your own town.

Garfield Boys Golf Team
When is the last time you heard anything about boys golf?  This group of mysterious boys gets an A for effort, but unfortunately did not win a game last season. Golf is a varsity sport at Garfield, but because the golf teams never win, it receives the least attention of any sport… Oh wait,  except for softball.