Princess Bale goes ape s***
Is the phrase “self-centered celebrity” surprising to you? If so, Christian Bale will make it familiar. For those of us already familiar with the phrase, Bale sure proves our point. Apparently, playing Batman and a crazy magician on screen entitles you to verbally destroy your colleague and act extremely unprofessional. Bale’s four-minute hissy is funny to listen to, but it only shows a sad man who belittles a professional in a very amateurish manner.

The ‘Hoff loses it
David Hasselhoff has an extensive resume. He has been on Baywatch and Knight Rider¸ both less-than-respectable shows, but there is no denying that they were on television. Hasselhoff can add another item to his list of career accomplishments: “has eaten hamburger off of floor while shirtless and drunk.” There is something strangely mesmerizing, albeit sickening, about watching this man lowered to the level of a brutish, slovenly drunkard. It dismantles the perfect image of a famous actor over the course of a few minutes as his daughter begs him not to drink any more. I feel dirty just writing that.

Mel Gibson and his wacky anti-Semitism
The worst part about Mel Gibson’s rant against the Jewish people following his arrest for drunk driving was his apology. He didn’t mean it. It’s like one of those kids who apologizes for something and then yells, “but he hit me first!” Only Mel Gibson is saying that the Jews started all the wars “first.” Shut up, Mel.

Bill O’Reilly flips his lid
Oh, how wonderful it is to see this hackneyed, disgusting blowhard get knocked down about a zillion pegs. Bill O’Reilly deserves a spot on television like Mark McGuire deserves a spot on a baseball ethics committee. This man is the epitome of all that is wrong with America and its political views. So, watching him petulantly curse out a teleprompter because he doesn’t understand what it says brings a little bit of joy to The O’Reilly Factor. He wasn’t my favorite to begin with, but this little outburst just makes him a joke.

Tom Cruise on Oprah
Tom Cruise’s crazy display on Oprah Winfrey’s TV show makes me wonder what he thinks the definition of the word “love” is. Because if he “loves” Katie Holmes, I don’t think I ever want to be “in love.” Tom’s crazy is incessant. He goes absolutely nuts. I had no clue what he was doing. It wasn’t that he jumped on Oprah’s couch over and over; it was the maniacal look on his face that told the world, “I have lost my mind.”