The Ratings:
★ — Lost My Phone, Need Numbers
★★ — One Million Strong
★★★ — Six Degrees of Separation
★★★★ — GHS Class of ’09

Counterstrike Makes Me Sexier
★★★★
For over a decade now, the first person shooter Counterstrike has been turning Lacoste polo-wearing young men with charming smiles into dry-cereal-eating burnouts who spend most of their day wearing only a space blanket and a ramen-stained bib. This is not what most would define as sexy. I know, because I was a Counterstrike addict. Maybe I never sank so low as the whole bib and blanket get-up, but in eighth grade Counterstrike dominated my free time, my conversation, and even my artwork — I would often attempt to draw Counterstrike guns in meticulous detail. If you understand the pride that comes with the statement: “I bunny-hopped all the way to B on de_dust2 and pwned the 1337 krew n00b with a p228!” then you know what I’m talking about. So, though being a Counterstrike pro may not make you appear sexy to the average high school babe, to fragNugget2500, that n00b who has just pre-cached his resources for the first time, you will look pretty freakin’ cool.

Appreciation Centre for Cats That Look Like Hitler
★★★
When I first saw this, it depressed me that someone would actually take the time to create a group showcasing cats that have mustaches and hair similar to that of the Fuhrer. But then I realized that this is the best kind of Facebook group: one that is completely pointless and specific. I joined.

Women
★
“What did God say after creating man? ‘I can do so much better.’” This witty anecdote regarding the subtle differences of male and female is the description for a Facebook group simply titled Women. 164,390 members have joined this brigade of feminists and all are women, of course. Watch out because they’re on a mission to out-member a group called Men, which I have yet to find on Facebook (because it doesn’t exist). Basically, a bunch of angry women need a way to vent their anger towards “chauvinist pigs.”

Adriana Lima is soooooooooooo Hot!
★
Well there’s not much to say about this one. It’s dedicated to the hottest girl in the world, besides my girlfriend, Adriana Lima. I think there are over 10,000 pictures or something of her on there. I don’t know how. Anyways, she’s super fine and I visit this group every day, making it the best group on Facebook.

F*** this, I’m going to Hogwarts
★★
I’ve never been a fan of Harry Potter fan fiction or fan art – I find it a bit sad – and this group is chock full of it. Pictures of Ron and Hermione kissing, comic books of Dumbledore; I find it’s all just a tiny bit creepy. The only reason I gave this group two stars is because the name is totally awesome and it’s something I have had the urge to say and do multiple times throughout my high school career.

The Knee Injury Club
★★
About a year ago, I hurt my knee and was severely limited in most physical activity – specifically tennis. Fortunately, I went to physical therapy for almost half a year and was adequately fixed up. I joined this Facebook group to laugh at everyone crying about their knees. What a joke. I started a thread called “Why I’m Better Than Everyone Here” and posted pictures of me running and playing tennis. I don’t know if that makes it Facebook’s best group, but either way I’m definitely the king of it.

Elalemin Derdi Ben Olmuşum Demek ki Zamanında Çok Kötü Koymuşum!
★★★
This group appears to be of Turkish origin. The group photo is of an old lady flipping off the camera. Below a large chunk of Turkish text, which appears to be the lyrics to the song “Just F***in’ Around” by 50 Cent. The best online translation of the title I could find is, “I was di Ben of people I disposed ill really at your moment so!”

I survived McClure Middle School
★★
A shout out to all those who, like me, went to McClure Middle School. Even though we had to live through all the hellish aspects of McClure, like awkward dances, Maverick pride assemblies, infractions, and awful math teachers (you know who I’m talking about); we still managed to have some fun and come out unscathed with a few good memories. So, even though this group doesn’t do much, I am proud to say that I am member and that I survived McClure Middle School.