Crowd surfing. Hands in the air. Loud music. Girls acting drunker than they are (“I’ve had like three Mike’s!!”). These are all things I expect to see at a concert. Today’s generation doesn’t have a Woodstock, but we do have some sizzlin’ substitutes in the summer. These aren’t your mother’s concerts. This isn’t High School Musical 2. I’m talking about the good stuff. What’s the good stuff? Check it out.

Folklife: Last weekend at Seattle Center
I hate Folklife. Essentially, the festival is run by communist hippies hell-bent on tearing the moral fiber of society via legal pot and support of Ralph Nader. Bush-bashing is a must, and a taste for bluegrass music is crucial. I think Folklife is made for stoners, hippies, and freshmen. I remember everyone wanted to go freshman year and was disappointed when Desert School prevented them. Their green souls and unseasoned minds think, “It’s like Bumbershoot, but free!” This year, though, was something else. As most of you know there was a shooting at this year’s festival. Finally. Folklife’s got some edge now. It’s like it just shaved a faux-hawk. It’s like the scrub kid that has a party and all his stuff gets jacked. People know him now but he’s still not tight.

Radiohead: August 20 at White River Amphitheater
One of my favorite bands is hitting up the fine city of Auburn this August for their In Rainbows tour. Radiohead brings one of rock’s most dynamic live acts following the most successful CD to date. Tickets are going fast, so you’re definitely sitting on the lawn if you’re reading this and haven’t reserved your place. I’m curious to see how Thom Yorke’s voice sounds live. (Kinda like how I feel with T-Pain.) Whatever, it’s worth it. Mr. Lou’s going. See Radiohead. Kick it with Mr. Lou. Sit on the lawn. What’s better?

Boys II Men: August 29 at Moore Theater
I don’t really know much about Boys II Men. Girls like them. They’re on P. Diddy’s “Boning” playlist. Apparently their music is an aphrodisiac. Regardless, they’re bringing their act to the Moore Theater on August 29th to promote their new CD. If they’re truly what I hear they are, I expect an orgy at the show.

Bumbershoot: August 30-September 1 at Seattle Center
The pre-eminent concert/festival returns this Labor Day weekend as usual. As Folklife’s older, stronger, taller, smarter, and better-looking brother, Bumbershoot seeks to rub in its dominance over all the sissy wannabe concerts of the Northwest with a preliminary lineup that features the likes of Beck, Ludacris, Del the Funky Homosapien, and Brother Ali. And that’s only preliminary. The last time I did something preliminary was my first draft for my term paper. My teacher wrote that it was a “D – , a complete mess.” I’m pretty smart, and that’s how well I did. For Bumbershoot to display an impressive line-up on their first try means they smash. Either that or I suck.