Kaiti, You’re Not a Slut
Why Michael Funetta deserves a vasectomy
By Celia Gurney
Guest writer Michael Funetta’s column “Kaiti, You Slut” was both offensive and under-researched.
Published March 27, 2009 - Opinion
Web Exclusive
Quest for the Best: Late Night Hangout Spot
By Nick Thompson
When you want to go out and have a night on the town, it can be tough to decide where is the best place to have fun. Here are some options.
Published March 27, 2009 - Arts & Entertainment
Pump It Up
The pristine Garfield Weight Room awaits
By Sam Koelle
In the basement of the gym, tens of thousands of dollars of brand spankin’ new exercise equipment is sitting virtually unused
Published March 27, 2009 - Sports
The Curious Tale of Darek Mazzone
The mysterious life of a radio DJ revealed
By Johannes Harkins
An interview with Darek Mazzone, the voice of Wo-Pop on KEXP and conveyer of Tuesday world music to Seattle.
Published March 27, 2009 - Arts & Entertainment
You Have to See This
Garfield’s talent can’t be missed
By Nick Thompson
The difference between Talent Show and other Garfield performances is that anyone can go up on stage and do whatever they want (as long as they audition first). It’ll feature a variety that can be found in no other event at Garfield.
Published March 27, 2009 - Arts & Entertainment
They Do What They Want
Turns out it is just that easy for teachers to take your stuff
By Hannah Rusk
Teachers are allowed to do random things like (true story!) confiscate your energy drink and get you in trouble because they, for some reason, think you stealthily put alcohol in there.
Published March 27, 2009 - News
Managing Success
The faces behind Garfield’s favorite sports teams
By Sonia Giebel
A team manager is basically responsible for whatever a coach isn’t. They keep things running smoothly, keep scores, get equipment ready, and as boys basketball manager Crystal Holloway puts it, are a “personal support system.”
Published March 27, 2009 - Sports
Get Stupid
Lyrics that make you say “Wait…what?”
By Kelley Hargus
Some songs, despite having every other facet of greatness, lack lyrical genius.
Published March 27, 2009 - Arts & Entertainment
Found in Translation
Tokyo Sonata portrays worldly family issues
By Kelley Hargus
Tokyo Sonata delves into a terrifying world. However, this particular horror film doesn’t involve chainsaws or machine guns, instead it’s a much more realistic scary movie: family life.
Published March 27, 2009 - Arts & Entertainment
Teachers Win, We Lose
The teachers’ union perks are only burdens for the students
By Olivia Alsept-Ellis
It is hard homework to begin with, made harder by the fact that I just don’t understand pottery.* I stare at the assignment, contemplating giving up now or continuing my melodramatic attempts.